27
November

Lead us not into temptation, Billy Wagner

imageSometimes as managers, we do what we can to resist what we WANT to do as opposed to what is best for the team.  And sometimes, it’s a little of both.

As I had mentioned in my previous post, I had my Black Friday already planned out.  Don S stopped by to play a nine-game series for the Illowa APBA League while I was in town to see family.

“Black Friday” indeed.  I started out by losing the first five games.  Don’s team, the Molly Putts Marauders, has a bullpen that includes Brad Lidge (A*XYW) and Billy Wagner (A&C*KX) which didn’t help me any.  The good news from my perspective was that Wagner was pretty tight on limits  (the IAL restricts managers from playing their players by their actual usage).

Don was calling on Wagner pretty often early on, obviously with some success.  After two appearances (and two perfect saves) in the first two games, he fished him out of his pile of cards and had a talk with him.

“Billy, you’re going into the team envelope”

… and did just that.  Wagner was shuttled in the Molly Putts APBA team card envelope.  ‘Out of sight, out of mind’, the saying goes, I guess. Don told me that Wagner’s appearances were quite limited and he wanted to save them for his last series against my crosstown rivals, the Rising Bamm Beanos.  Made sense to me. The Bamm Beanos were knocking on the Molly Putt’s door and looking for a playoff spot.  Any edge in the last series would help.

Fast forward to Game 3.  That was an extra inning affair.  Don’t get me started on that one.  That game we wasted every opportunity afforded us (we loaded the bases in the 11th with no outs and didn’t score).    Molly managed to score in the top of the 14th inning on a two-run homerun by Hanley Ramirez.  When the good guys came to bat, Don gave out this grunting sound…

“Billy, you’re coming out of the envelope for this one game”.

Well, Billy Wagner did come out and did a fantastic job.  A one-two-three inning with two Ks.  Molly Putts won the game 5-3.  Once the game was over, Don got up and excused himself.

“Billy’s going out to the car now.”

Don took Billy Wagner’s APBA card and went out to his white Firebird and put it on his seat of his car and and came back.   It was all done so that the temptation to use that nifty A&C*KX would be removed.  Sure enough, when we were done playing and Don gave me a ride to my mom’s.  I got into the passenger seat and there was Billy’s card looking all forlorn and dejected like “what did I do to deserve this?  Three appearances and three saves and then he puts me out in the cold car!”.

For those wondering, I won split the last six games of the series without facing Wagner.  Watch out Beanos!  Maybe those appearances by Billy ARE golden.

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15
October

Going old school today

Hack_Wilson_display_imageMy buddy Brando invited me over again today for another day of Illini football and APBA.  Illinois is taking Ohio State at Memorial Stadium and we’ll be watching it on his big screen.

What teams will we be playing?  I asked him earlier if he wanted me to pick the teams and he said “I’ll pick the teams”.  Okaaay, maybe he didn’t like my choice of the 1982 Braves and Rangers the last time we played.  Just heard last night that he’s chosen the 1930 Cubs and Dodgers.  I have the Cubs.  The inside joke with Brando is that he’s a Dodger fan… a Brooklyn Dodger fan.  This should be fun.

Remember Brando, Dazzy Vance can pitch only one game for you but Hack Wilson plays every day.

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25
June

“APBA Dice”

with apologies to Lady Gaga. 

(Mum mum mum mah
Mum mum mum mah)

I wanna hold my APBA cards like they do in Lancaster  please
Pick up the dice, hit sixty-six, dude stay with me (I love it)
Luck and intuition, make sure Pujols is in there to  start
And after him, someone good to protect him, he’ll play his part

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, oh-oh-e-oh-oh-oh
The dice are hot, show them what I’ve got
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, oh-oh-e-oh-oh-oh,
The dice are hot, show them what I’ve got

Can’t read my,
Can’t read my
No he can’t read my APBA dice
(of course it’s a sixty-six)
Can’t read my
Can’t read my
No they can’t read my APBA dice
(of course it’s a sixty-six)

AP-AP-AP-APBA dice, AP-AP-APBA dice
(Mum mum mum mah)
AP-AP-AP-APBA dice, AP-AP-APBA dice
(Mum mum mum mah)

I wanna roll with them a sixty-six, boxcars it will be
A little APBA is fun when you’re with me
APBA baseball is not the same without a good arm
And baby it wouldn’t hurt to roll an 11-1
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, oh-oh-e-oh-oh-oh
I’ll get the dice hot, show them what I’ve got
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, oh-oh-e-oh-oh-oh,
I’ll get him hot, show him what I’ve got

AP-AP-AP-APBA dice, AP-AP-APBA dice
(Mum mum mum mah)
AP-AP-AP-APBA dice, AP-AP-APBA dice
(Mum mum mum mah)

I won’t tell you that I’ve won or lost
Mock or taunt you Cause I’m not bluffin’ with my red and whites
I’m not lying I’m just rollin’ by bones
Just like a dude across the table asking you to
Take your crying towel out before I before it’s done
I promise this, promise this
Check this roll out cause I rolled another sixty-six

AP-AP-AP-APBA dice, AP-AP-APBA dice
(Mum mum mum mah)
AP-AP-AP-APBA dice, AP-AP-APBA dice
(Mum mum mum mah)

 

I was inspired this morning. I guess.  LOL

[Reference for those who have no idea what this is parodying.  It’s what the kids are all into these days]

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10
May

I heart BBW, really

I did a double take when doing some Mother’s Day shopping for wife last week.  I saw this design on a gift card.

 

bbwpink

 

Alas, it’s not for APBA’s Baseball for Windows.  I was just shopping at Bath and Body Works.

Come to think of it, some their scents would do wonders for our sweaty APBA weekends.

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1
February

Rajah Quotables

weather In light of the major snowstorm hitting most of the northern part of the U.S. right about now, I’ll just leave this here:

 

"People ask me what I do in winter when there’s no baseball. I’ll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring."

-Rogers Hornsby

Fortunately, we all have APBA. 

 

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3
October

Yay for utilitymen!

It’s getting to that time of APBA league season for some managers.  They see the writing on the wall for the current year and start looking forward to next year.  The MLB season is wrapping up and they know what kind of players they should expect for the coming year (assuming keeper leagues, of course).  For those leagues with strict limit rules, some managers are already counting up at-bats and innings to find out what kind of coverage they need for the coming year.

It’s this time of year when I thank the APBA gods for one particular player on my team.  One who I really could not do without.  He quietly does a job that few in baseball can do and I am  grateful.  Who am I talking about?

Julio Lugo

.

Eh? Julio Lugo?  A few of my IAL leaguemates are probably guffawing at my choice.  Not only is the infielder Lugo’s .334/.386 OBP/SLG pretty dismal, I’ve heard some say he’s one of the worst ballplayers in baseball.

But there’s this… year in and year out, Julio Lugo plays multiple positions during the actual season and that pays off dividends when making sure I’m covered at each position.  This year is no exception.  In 2010, Lugo played five different positions in the field (not including DH, of course).

Take a quick look at the IAL’s limits rules regarding positions:

  • a) The first position listed on a player’s card is unlimited*
  • b)If a player played 40 games (inclusive) or more at a position he is unlimited*
  • c) If a player played 10 to 39 games (inclusive) at a position he may play 40 games at that position
  • d) If a
    lugo10

    Lugo covered two positions in 2009, too.

    player played 1 to 9 games (inclusive) at a position he may play 10 games at that position

  • e) If a player has a position on his card that he did not play he may play 1 game at that position.

*unlimited up to actual number of games

So thank you Julio Lugo.  Not only can you back up Orlando Hudson but because of your 26 games at short, you can cover Troy Tulowitzki.  Heck, you could even play 10 games at third or in the outfield if I so desire (no thanks!).

Because of Lugo’s versatility, he saves me a draft pick.  Instead of using one to pick a rookie second baseman to cover a position, my options are open to choose who I want (though the snarky answer to that is that if Julio Lugo is your backup at short AND second, maybe you should shore up your infield, dude… point taken).

So let’s hear it for the Julio Lugos, the Miguel Cairos, the Rich Amarals and the Tom Brookens (am I dating myself yet?).  We think you utilitymen are the tops.

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22
August

Keep quiet during those no-hitters… sometimes

My Thunderchickens and I took on the Green Rock Bombers skippered by our commissioner, Mike Bunch.  Time was running out this month and neither of us could make the trip so we played by Skype. 

It was an unexciting series for me for the most part… we just couldn’t runs.  It wasn’t until game 3 that we scored more than one run in an inning.  It seemed that our pitchers would practically have to pitch shutouts for us to win.

han But my rookie starter Tommy Hanson did one better.  In game 6, he no-hit the Bombers (stupid me, I don’t have the scoresheet with me and don’t have his line).  It was about the fifth inning when I realized that he had the no-no going.  Of course I didn’t say anything to jinx it and Mike had the courtesy to keep quiet too. 

If our league is ever in a group setting and this kind of thing happens, we don’t mention the no-hitter but we might alert the guys and say that there might be some “press interviews” after the game.  They usually get the hint in case they might want to peer over our shoulders. 

My favorite league no-hitter story wasn’t even a no-hitter.  Years ago, I was playing a manager who is now long gone. He had Kevin Appier on the hill and he was lights out.  So much so he was pitching a perfect game through seven innings.  *I* was impressed but of course wasn’t saying anything. 

The bottom of the seventh comes around and his team is up.  Appier is due up and his manager starts thumbing through his bench cards.  “I’m going to pinch-hit”, he announces. 

“Are you sure?”, I asked.

“Mmm-mm”

“Are you REALLY sure?, I double checked.

“Umm”, he glanced down at his scoresheet.  “Maybe not”.

Either he was watching Appier’s innings really closely or just felt it was time for him to come out, he just didn’t realize that Kevin Appier had a perfect game going through seven innings. 

Well, he kept Appier in and I eventually got a hit off of him.  No perfect game or even a no-hitter.  But he got the win. 

Not to pick on this manager… when it came to playing APBA, he was one of the best.  He just got caught up in innings limits. 

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5
July

Mascots in APBA league play?

To some, playing in APBA leagues is a purely academic exercise.  It’s an effort to win as many games as possible or perhaps to maintain some realism or accuracy in the process.  To many others, we see our assembly of cards as a team and ourselves as the general manager and field manager. 

Sometimes we take on affects.  Call it embellishment or even superstition but such one manifestation is faux mascots.  Here are a few of the mascots I’ve encountered in our league throughout our history.

 

beano 

Brando, our manager of the Rising Bamm! Beanos has always been a Ken Griffey fan.  So much so that he collected Griffey memorabilia. 

That included this Griffey Beanie Baby.  Renamed ‘Beano’ (Beanie…Beano, get it?), he traveled with the Bamm! Beanos and even helped ‘roll’ the dice when Brando needed that extra run. 

 

 

chuckallstar

My turn.  This is Chuck the Chicken who was the mascot of my Twin City Thunderchickens. 

 

Given to me by Brando (see above), Chuck was a seedy type perhaps fueled by his lack of acceptance in the league.  See, if he was squeezed just right, he would play the Chicken Dance song which he would sometimes do after a Albert Pujols homerun. 

 

He has never forgiven the manager of the Three Rivers Gamblers for kicking him across the room.

 

 

ialjunesat 029

This figurine of John Smoltz is not so much a mascot of Chuck’s Northside Hitmen but maybe an alter-ego. 

 

Don’t get him (Chuck?) mad or he’ll go off on you.  His Beavis-like voice goes through your head.

 

 

08F

Back in the late 80s, we had a manager named Rob who had a team called the Chicago Mercenaries.  He religiously brought a 1965 Al Lopez baseball card like the one to the left when he played. 

 

As you see, card has Lopez pretend posing as if calling to his players.  Or perhaps he’s calling to his field manager, “Hey Rob!  Doncha’ think you better get someone up in pen!”.

 

Does any other face-to-face APBA league have similar silliness or is the IAL certified crazy?  Let us know!

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2
March

UTABL Top Ten Fun

The UTABL, a league based in Lancaster, had a little fun on their blog in anticipation of their upcoming weekend get-together held presumably at a cabin . 

They posted a “Top Ten Cabin Predictions”.  Take number 1 for example:

 

1)  Someone will attempt to destroy a set of dice.  (Dice take the most abuse at the cabin, although most of it is verbal.  But a few dice have been thrown, batted, or mutilated in some form.  We still hope to find a previously lost pair of dice on the bank heading down to the creek.)

 

Reminds me of a convention the IAL had at our commissioner’s house probably 25 years ago.  He lived near a creek.  I don’t remember the exact game situation but he got REALLY mad at his team and his dice. 

So mad that he took his dice and went outside (yeah, you can see where this is going).  He went over to creek and threw his dice into the water. 

Those dice were never seen again. 

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19
January

Satirical piece on dice baseball

This satirical piece on The Sportsman’s Daily about a boy finding a dice baseball game in his dad’s attic is a somewhat funny in a bittersweet way for us APBA fans. 

 

“It was kind of cute for a while,” said Jose. “It brought back some terrific memories like trading Jimmy “Toy Cannon” Wynn over to Buddy Muldoon’s team for Lee May, Joe Rudi and a pitcher to be named later. It was nice seeing the old double fours being rolled for a homer again, but now Pedro’s got his friends here all damn day long. I hear the comments. ‘Pedro, your father was around when Vic Davalillo was playing? Wow, he’s old.’  The little f—-rs. I’ll show them who’s old.”

 

Funny or no? 

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