SLUGGERS (KERNELS) OUT HOMER CHAMPS 18-7
I should’ve let Gracey our dog take a nip out of Keith when he showed up at my house to play shum APBA after traveling over 2 1/2 hours through rush hour traffic, if I’d only known what was to come. Keith’s Kentucky Kernels won the last three games in our nine game series to win it four games to five, luckily I’d won five of the first six games to eek out a hard-fought 5-4 series win. After the last dice had settled at Crackerjack Park, Keith hung around (to my delight), we talked about his son Jack’s back surgery (he has scoliosis), his son Drew’s high school soccer, and his wife’s friend’s husband disclosing to his wife after 25 years of marriage he’d been cheating all along. Another friend of Lauren’s had the same thing happen to her, Keith decided not to tell his wife, after all some things are better off private. A chuckling Keith revealed, “Why would I want two of them?” I told Keith about how when my Mom used to groom poodles, one of her customers wanted to bring his girlfriend’s dog to have it groomed, in addition to his wife’s dog, turns out both dogs had the same name. When she asked why the sames names, he asked, “What am I stupid? I don’t want to call one of the dogs by the wrong name”. How come guys need an excuse to get together, while women are free just to hang out, in this case our excuse was games, not just ordinary games, the ultimate game, APBA baseball. I’m glad I’m a guy, understatement of the year.
At 7:30 PM, it was time to play ball after eating some Manzo’s Pizza, the grease will have coagulated in our guts by the time the series ended at midnight. After beating Moore’s Highlanders 6-3 earlier in the month, we were feeling a little bit cocky entering this nine game set against the seemingly over-matched Kernels. We scored four times in the top of the 9th inning of game one to win the opener 5-4, JRoll ripped a two-out bases loaded double off Joba Chamberlain, and Takashi Saito was the loser. Former Slugger skipper Nicky V, would have sent his APBA card flying, but Keith took it in stride. Big brother DonS had just texted younger brother Keith some sort of smart alack comment about me, it’s good to be Goliath, as long as pesky David stays away with that damn slingshot. The second game went to the Champs again, this time in 11, with ARod (no rest for the weary) coming off the bench to knock in the go ahead run twice, including the game winner. Matt Cain & Cory Wade allowed only one Kentucky run in the 3rd contest, as Chicago won 2-1, taking a three zip series lead. A slug-fest ensued in the 4th game, a sign of things to come, BIG Ryan Howard put three on the board, driving in seven, but it was Pat the Bat Burrell’s 9th inning two run bomb that ended it in walk-off fashion, 13-11. Andre Ethier’s three run big fly in the bottom of the 7th off rookie Sergio Romo brought Keith back into it. Robinson Cano also knocked one over the fence off Greg Maddux, who was the victim of three taters in five innings. Grady hit two out for the Good Guys, but it wasn’t enough. In the last game where the fans have no teeth, Josh Beckett had it going on, the Champs scored 5 of 7 unearned runs off Kentucky hurlers, winning 7-2.
Now it was time for some home cooking. I’m reminded of what a good friend of my Dad’s used to say when he saw a restaurant advertising, HOME COOKING, he said, he’d run the other way, because his wife was a terrible cook, and he hated eating at home. In the first game in Chicago, the Champs bats once again took charge, outscoring Kentucky 9-2, behind two 2-run ARod bombs, the series was now 5-1, and the rout was on. But a funny thing happened on the way to the beating, Keith showed composure & character, there was no whining (there’s a sign on my fridge stating NO WHINING) or cursing or feeling sorry for himself. Keith never berated his players, just kept going about his business, and the results paid off. Ryan Howard hit two long-balls, knocked in 4, and Andre Ethier added an insurance poke, as the Kernels started to roll. There’s a saying about a run away truck gaining speed as it heads downhill, stop it before the momentum gets out of control, but here I was resting El Caballo, with my pre-written lineups already written on the page, and still feeling cocky at 5-2, after all, weren’t we in 1st place & hadn’t we just kicked some Highlander butt, reading one’s own press clippings can be hazardous to one’s health. We should’ve started The Freak in the 8th game, but we tried to rest Tim Lincecum, gave Mark Buehrle the rock, and then left Buehrle in a tie game to go out there in the 7th, Pat the Bat launched the go ahead two run blast, Kentucky added another for a 7-4 Kernel win. Now it was panic time, knowing it was too late, and that it was a mistake to start The Franchise, but Tim was marched out there in spite of the impending doom. Ryan Howard got him for a first inning homer and then Andre Ethier & Dionner Navarro added solo shots in the 2nd for a three run lead, Lincecum & the Champs went on to a 6-3 loss, as David Bush was in control, and Keith Smith’s Kentucky Kernels had a 4-5 series win. I wonder what Keith must’ve thought of my comments, second guessing myself for not starting my Ace in game eight.
